What day is it? Wednesday? Can someone please tell me? I don’t have a paper calendar, so there’s no way to know.
What’s that? There are Twitter accounts and bots that can tell me the days of the week? Perfect, I never stop scrolling.
INT. STUDIO APARTMENT — AFTERNOON
A man stands at his desk in front of the cold light of a computer monitor. We HEAR anxious TYPING as the man MASHES the keys on his keyboard. His eyes DART back and forth as he searches for treasures hidden in the depths of the internet.
Hours pass, and then...
Huzzah! I found accounts that will tell me the days of the week! Well, mostly. Here they are:
When I first posted this story, I couldn’t find an account that’s dedicated to posting when it is Tuesday. But literally one minute after I hit publish, a reader sent me a Tuesday-focused account, @No_Problemm_, which posts the Tuesday Again? No Problem.......... meme.
And in the comments of the above tweet, I discovered another Tuesday-focused account, @TodaysTuesday. Every Tuesday, the account posts a clip from the Garfield movie A Tale of Two Kitties, which stars Bill Murray as everyone’s favorite Monday-hating cat.
Follow @FridaySailer, which congratulates you for making it to Friday with a picture of Mr. Krabs and a song that I’m 99 percent certain is used in SpongeBob.
Follow @CraigWeekend, which posts a clip of Daniel Craig saying “ladies and gentlemen, The Weeknd” with a disaffected shrug of his shoulders every Friday evening. Yes, I know Craig doesn’t explicitly say the words Saturday and Sunday, but he tells me when the weekend starts, which is really all the information I need.
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK
If you don’t want to follow all of those accounts, follow @TodaysDayToday, made by ThinkAuthority’s own Chaim Gartenberg, which tells you the day of the week every morning.