In a recent episode of The Mandalorian, tiny puppet baby Yoda ate a blue cookie. I don’t watch The Mandalorian, but I am online enough to have seen photos of the tiny puppet baby Yoda eating blue macarons. You can now buy these macarons, called “Nevarro Nummies” from Williams Sonoma. Haha cool! I love macarons hell yeah. Except that they cost $49.95 for a dozen.
io9 kindly did the math for me because I cannot add or divide, and it estimates them to be about $4.17 per cookie. To which I say, you’re out of your goddamn mind. You want 50 bucks for 12 cookies that look like prop food? Eyeball these Hostess rejects and tell me you don’t have concerns:
- These cookies look like they’ve had their souls sucked out by a cartoon demon.
- They look like they spent all summer vacation inside and returned to school pasty while everyone else got tan and hot.
- They look like they’ve been sitting in your grandpa’s freezer for half of his natural life.
- They look like they just gave blood and uh oh they better sit down they’re not feeling so good.
- Sadly, this cookie has passed. It now wanders the Earth in search of vengeance.
- They look like play food your unusually adept niece made with her remaining Play-Doh.
- These cookies? Just got devastating news about a high-interest loan they took out against their house.
- Made y’all these cookies in pottery class but I forgot to add a glaze sorry.
- These cookies fell below the counter at your local eatery and were served anyway by a teenager just trying to save up for a car.
Look, I can keep going, but I think you get my point, which is, gross. I have paid a lot of money for questionable food my life, like a $4 hot dog from a Times Square cart, but even this is too far for me. They probably taste fine, but I’m of the opinion that you and I — we deserve better.